Stupid Bitches, Eyerolls and WebMD

Q: What do stupid bitches, eyerolls and WebMd all have in common?

A: I've spent experienced all of these things in the last 24 hours.

That's some bullshit, isn't it?

FFS.. (yes, I should probably put out an advisory now for all the timid, gentle readers who have their moral sensibilities offended by the word 'fuck'.. yes, i'm going to be using 'fuck' a lot on my journal entry on a kinky website where people display pics of their pumped, gaping, 'eye of soren' assholes regularly.. get the fuck over it..)

Anyhow.. back to the regularly scheduled programming.

I'm sitting here.. under two blankets, cuz I'm cold (yeah!) in my pajamas with my knee wrapped and elevated. It fucking hurts. It fuckety-fuck-fuck-FUCKing hurts. It wasn't hurting this bad when I went to the doc's before. But something happened last weekend. I got bumped coming out of the hockey game. It was a sharp, immediate pain. And then my lil-est guy came up behind me for a hug and did a weeble wobble move. Holy FUCK that hurt.

After the girl at work spent all morning scaring me with predictions about crutches and torn ligaments and tendons and the utter destruction of whatever groovy part of me that makes me so fabulous, I spent a whole hour fucking around on WebMD and other scary sites. Do you realize how bad your mind can fuck with you when you're looking at anatomical drawings of an ACL tendon?!?

I mean really? That shit is worse than a horror flick.

Stupid? meh.. its not as stupid as some of the stupid fucking bitches (one in particular who shall remain nameless but for those that know me well.. I bet you can guess) I've seen. Dear lord, there needs to be a magical overseer for stupid bitches that shut them the fuck up.

And then.. it makes me wondered.. these owned stupid bitches.. do their owners realize how stupid their bitch is?!? or did they just actually go out to find a stupid bitch that will froth at the mouth like a rabid vagina fresh off a vagisil treatment?!? Shut yer bitch up, please. Take away her fucking typing privileges, please. Surely there is some domestic task she could perform.. or some group of football players she could service that will keep from fucking typing stupid fucking nonsensical bullshit and professing the uber-ness of your magnificent perfection. OMG.. ugh..

(i'm cranky.. can you tell?)

Speaking of domestic shit. I do domestic shit. Yes I do. I even have domestic skillz. I have domestic tools and a real life vacuum.

So.. when me and my vagina suggest using the vacuum cleaner, why does that require a penis enhanced unit to make an eyeroll with a duh expression?!?

WTF.

What the fuh-huck?!?

Sucky-sucky? Hoover will get you lucky lucky.