Fragility

Fragile.

Fragile things tend to draw us in. We want to hold and touch and enjoy them. They seem more valuable and important if for no other reason than they could break at any given moment and be no more.

New things are similar to us.. we have not yet fully vetted their fragility, value, worth. They draw us in and absorb our thoughts, our time and desires. Once we explore them though, we do what we do with our old sweaters and our old shirts. They get pushed back, a little more each day, to the rear of the closet. One day, those shirts and sweaters (and ugly christmas ties) are becoming forgotten.. kind of lost in the closet circus.

Fragile things are much the same - set on a shelf somewhere. We are afraid to play with them, to touch them because they may break.

But isnt everything fragile or vulnerable to being destroyed? Those same shirts you enjoyed one and have now worked their way to closet hell, are now vulnerable to moths and dust. The pretty thing you stuck on a shelf is well forgotten by the next pretty thing you stick up there in front of it. Its Human Nature 101.

Human Nature 102 says that we only desire and enjoy that which is in our immediate view. So, if you cant see that fragile thing or the sweaters and shirts, how can you desire them when theyre practically forgotten?

The sad thing is that everything falls into this trap. Interpersonal relationships, cars, toys and the shirt you enjoyed so much you wore it everyday or your fingers found just for a touch every time you opened the closet. Now, the shirt is out of sight, out of mind. So you got a new shirt when you were out shopping which is amazing.

Where does this come from? Where does this behavior really start at ?!?

In a thought, we are capable of doing this because we qualify our attachments and by that very nature make our attachments both conditional and disposable. What is that old saying, there are plenty of fish in the sea?!? Boy, did we ever take that thought to heart.

By understanding this, we can start to see why our relationships fail.. why we do not see how fragile they are.. and more importantly, why our other commitments fail. Consider this, 50% of modern marriages end in divorce and then 70% of second marriages fail. Do you think we're just that pitiful and choosing a mate? Heck no.. afterall, we're engrossed in their very breath when we are the process of starting the relationship. The problem is that we've taught ourselves, some better than others, that failure in a relationship is ok.. that it 'just happens'. We conditionalize them to draw lines in the sand so we know when theyre failing.

If he cheats on me, its over. If she starts sounding like her mother, I will bail. If you gain 20 lbs I will have to re-evaluate my status in this relationship. When we first were dating, she was nice to me. When I met him, he liked my laugh.

Have you said or thought these? Of course you have.

Here is my question though.. why do you conditionalize them in the first place? why do you not realize how fragile it is but enjoy it fully still yet?

Because, if it breaks.. if it the other partner crosses the line.. If you've lost them to the back of the closet.. You can always buy a new sweater.. or.. go fishing again.

No big loss right?