Struggling..

I'm a quirky duck. That's a given. But I've been struggling with one of my quirks lately. I don't know exactly how to describe it really. It's not like being claustrophobic but it's close. I don't do well with being touched by strangers or having strangers in my personal bubble. I like some space between me and them. It makes me feel like I'm suffocating.

Oddly, it's the same reaction I have when my face or neck gets jizz all over it. But that's a whole other topic of quirkiness altogether.

It's a quirk I try to be aware of honestly. I know its my nature to feel that way and I try to not make people around me uncomfortable by showing a lot of reaction (you know, the screaming panic attack where you're sobbing in the corner kinda thing).

Buttttt.....

I got a new boss the last couple of weeks. I'm an analyst that was previously attached to operations. Now, I'm a direct report to the controller.

OMG.. he is so far up my ass, I swear he's breathing for me. He keeps moving shit on my desk.. closing my drawers.. he actually moved furniture and cabinets in my office so he could shimmy a chair up right next to me and watch me work. I mean like shoulder to shoulder shit.

I wasn't that fucking close this fucking much with my ex husband (which, I promise, is not the reason we're divorced).

He keeps coming downstairs to my office to ask the same set of stupid questions.. I mean exactly the same set of questions.. over and over and over again. I feel like I'm talking to a two year old.

A two year old with no awareness of personal space. He keeps shutting my office door and closing me in with him. For hours. I mean.. 4 hours or more.

I don't like him. I know what I like and how I like it. Conversely, I know what I don't like even if its for a nugatory reason.

I do not like him.

He has to be able to tell too. I am really quite horrible about disguising my disgust. I have no ability to hide things. My coworkers who know me keep laughing because its really obvious I'm hating it. Now they're calling me trying to give me a head's up to flee my office before he gets there.

I literally ran out the door at lunch so he wouldn't have time to stop and talk.

He's oppressive in a clingy pet kinda way that won't leave you the fuck alone. I feel claustrophobic around him. I feel like I'm suffocating.

My old boss and the HR guy keep telling me it will be fine. I think they're both on crack and are just telling me this because they don't think there's anything to be done. The HR guy knows me well enough to know my feelings on it won't go away.

I'm so miserable. I'm on the verge of tears every time I hear his voice. I'm struggling so much to just get through the day. I used to enjoy my job despite the rough days. Now, just thinking about going to work tomorrow makes me anxious.

I'm really at a loss.