slave or submissive?

A question was posed via broadcast email through one of the local groups I belong to recently. It was a query regarding the difference between a submissive and a slave. I was in awe of the variety of answers that came across my email which seemed to indicate a belief that they were similar and about obedience. The general assumption regarding their difference however, seems to have been that submissives are retaining control and part time while slaves have a spiritual relationship.

Well.. frankly speaking.. thats just crap. The similarities between a submissive and a slave end at a mutual proclivity to submit. From there, the differences are vast.

A submissive submits to a Dominant partner as they have mutually agreed upon. The submissive has delineated the areas in which she will or will not submit, the timing of her submission and to whom she will submit. Ergo, in all reality, the submissive has maintained full control of herself even through her submission. Further, the very act of submission is defined by the submissive herself including focus on play and limitations. Thus, in a Dominant / submissive relationship, the Dominant partner is truly an instrument to the submissive.

In contrast, a slave is owned property of her Master. As property or chattel, the slave subjugates herself to her Master's will at all times, in all ways and is obedient to His command without hesitation. A slave in this type of relationship is afforded only so many choices and decisions as her Master gives her and those may be removed at His discretion. A slave's submission is a need fulfilled by service to her Master. There are no limits to that service. Unlike a Dominant partner, a Master is to His slave the entirety of her world, the definition of it.. all things flow through Him. Beyond this, a slave has no opportunity to leave her Master without his approval while a submissive may go at her own accord.

I dont believe the differences between the Dominant / submissive and Master / slave relationships are merely able to summed up between which one is of a spiritual nature and which one is more control oriented. Rather, in a Dominant /submissive relationship the submissive defines the relationship while in a Master / slave relationship that is the responsibility of the Master.

I believe that both relationships can be based on love and can have a strong connection. That being said, there is a special vulnerability a slave bears to her Master as his property. She has placed all her proverbial eggs in one basket so to speak by placing blind trust and faith in Him. With that though, she fulfills her own need to serve beyond measure. This is not about submitting in between the sheets. Slaves serve day in and day out regardless of their desire to complete the assigned chore because it is through their immediate obedience that they fulfill their Master's need.

Can a Master be a Dominant to a submissive? yes.. Can a Dominant be a Master to a slave? not necessarily.. Its the old square is a rectangle but a rectangle isnt necessarily a square rule..
To extend that further though.. Can a submissive be a slave to a Master? no.. Can a slave be a submissive to a Dominant? no again.. Why the difference here? Because of need.. a submissive needs to maintain control to a certain degree and a Master needs to own all of it.. While a slave needs to be owned and to have no control.. her world would be in disorder with a Dominant.

Are submissives fun? Absolutely. Are slaves entertaining? You bet you're bottom dollar. Can you just walk up to either one of them and grab them off the shelf and have instant success? No way Jose. At their core, they are inately different as defined by their needs.. their need for or to release control.. their need to obey.. and the intensity of their feeling to subjugate themselves.. Neither is better or worse.. Nor is this a spiritual matter..

Its all about need.. hunger.. desire.. Before you define yourself, you should define yours.

The Vessel..

i am but a vessel...
carried with the tide...

bearing the weight of my Master's desires
while my sister, the stars, shines upon me...

he sets my sails aloft... letting them carry me..
guiding me... directing me...
the destination his...

the waters around me are deep, dark and cold...
beckoning me deeper beneath their murky depths
to the bottom...

and still we move..
cutting through these waters like a knife...
oblivious to the constant siren's song of the waves...

i hear him whispering...
star light... star bright..
give me my wish, i wish this night...

and in the whistling of the wind there is a reply...
tonight's wish
is tomorrow's dream
is the next day's nightmare..

Dominating Thoughts...

Over the past few months ive written a lot about my point of view and in turn how ive been trained to understand submission and a slave's role... It's had a variety of reactions including queries as to my point of view on Dominance.. Apparently, enquiring minds want to know..
Sooooo.... As im always full of an opinion .. or two.. or three..lol.. here goes!

Dominance 101 ~ whats the point of it???? what purpose does the Dominant serve to the sub /slave??? Well, as i KNOW ya'll have read all the other blogs you undoubtedly remember the first lesson for a slave.. yes?? come on.. you can raise your hands... lol Remember? Lesson No. 1 for a slave is to .. Serve to be served.. by serving Him, it serves her needs??? Ring a bell?? Is there a ringy dingy going off anywhere???

Ok.. Ergo, through this same concept.. the slave serves.. and to that purpose the Dominant by nature fosters an environment that encourage the behaviors he enjoys in his slave.. its a symbiotic relationship.. Structure and order... Trust and Commitment.. those develop between the two through service to each other..

If only one is serving, there will be, eventually, a failure in Trust, in Commitment and then in turn a breach in Order and in Structure and that results in a failure in a relationship...

Realistically, beyond a BDSM relationship, in any relationship, where the parties fail to serve each other regularly, with full consideration and commitment to what they should be bringing to the table.. what the other needs... then there will be always be, without fail, a relationship in jeopardy...

i mean, come on people, isnt the point of loving someone and being with someone to take care of them? i mean, to really take care of them? inside and out? can you be honest with yourself and say you have? i am just as flawed as a lot of people.. and i work at it everyday.. its just something to be cognizant of..

So, while people tend to perceive a Master as a pvc chap wearing kink-master-flash, his is also a point of service to his sub/ slave... Because, through his guidance, the order he provides, the structure, and even the boundaries.. it gives her what she needs.. those are the things she is looking for in her life.. In so many ways, they are the ying and the yang..

Why the kink? Why whip your tail? Why bend you over the desk and paddle you with that ginormous leather paddle????

Because... Y/you two can.. Because Y/you two like it.. and Most importantly..

Because... Y/you two want it..

A Few Lessons For Yummy Slaves..

As this girl has been allowed to serve for almost ten years now.. ive been taught (sometimes begrudgingly so) a few things.. Lately, ive been noticing some odd behavior from some of my cohorts.. in a show of ... what the heck are you thinking and can you please fix this now cuz youre making it hard on all of us.. i thought i might share a few of the important ones with them now..

One of the first lessons and in turn the most important lessons learned, was a slave serves to be served.. Now, darlings, ohhhhh yummy, savory, dear ones.. this is a lesson to take to heart, if you have one in that stoney facade... you serve your Master, because frankly speaking, serving Him serves your needs...

That brings us to Lesson Numero Dos chickiepoo's... so, open up your text books and get your comment cards ready (cuz i know its your favorite past time).. Ready? really really ready? got your socks on cuz im gonna hit the ground running on this one and im not waiting for your ass to catch up.. Ahem.. Now, where were we for the slow ones..

Oh yes .. Lesson No. 2 ~ Service Requires Humility and that means.. for those who have synapsis that fail to frequently fire and cant quite make that bridge of logic between the left brain and the right... There isnt any room for your ginormous ego.. and Lord knows.. if there isnt room for that thing which the Hubble used to call out from space..and you have to get rid of it.. how in the jolly green eyed monsterville can you expect to be jealous, possessive, or whatever pretty little word your therapist wrote down on her paper that helps you make it through the night but really says the same damned thing as the other two words.. aka.. youre just a jealous bitch.. so get over it.. its not allowed anymore..

Its ok.. you can stop crying now.. its over.. See.. that wasnt so hard!

And our third lesson ladies.. this one should make you all go, well duh! Especially if you've managed to get the other two lessons to gel in your brain cavity sufficiently... Now, so to recap.. if youre still here with us oh yummy ones.. lil savory darlings..

If youre still here, youve assumed the position.. with grace and humility.. ego checked at the door and all that entails.. and with the full realization of what service means... So, ideally, it should be easy to hear Lesson Three.. but really its not for some.. because this one doesnt have orders from Master.. youre self governing here, chicka..

Lesson Three says you, darling, are always a reflection of your Master in all ways.. how does cattiness become him? how does rudeness become him? Is kindness what you would extend to his friends or, rather, a bite of the hand? Its more than manicured fingernails and toes... i assure you.. although id no sooner be caught dead with a chipped toesie..

How do you serve your Master when he is not there? By excelling at Lesson Number Three.. by not just being groovy to the ugly fat chicks youre not worried he might have an inclination to boink.. Lets be real about this shall we dears? He's going to do what he wants.. He has the privity of the cane.. there is freedom in that..

What should you have? Confidence in your ability to serve his needs.. Confidence in your own beauty.. Confidence in your own ways to make him smile..

Because as a slave, anything more than confidence looks an awful lot like an untrained, ill mannered brat that has no need to serve more than to get her rocks off let alone make her Master happy.. So, choose your actions accordingly..

Goal No. 1 ~ His Happiness..

Do you think a submissive tendancy is something youre born with or is it environmentally engrained into our thinking and behavior patterns?!? I tend to think that perhaps its a little of both and depending on the person, maybe a little more of one or the other.. Ive been asked often 'when did I know?' and 'when did I become?'... Ive known my answers, but do you know yours? Ive always been bottom but, had quite a bit of further 'assistance' along my developmental way.

Do you know yourself and what you really expect to achieve in this lifestyle? E/everyone should have goals in all aspects of life and this is no exception.

Are you humble in your submission? or.. is it something that you express secreted away in a bedroom? Is He really first? Are His needs, wants and desires really ALWAYS first?

If not, why? Do you just feel like yielding when it gets a little kinky or rough between the sheets? Dont get me wrong.. I think we all like it like that too..But, we dont all also continue to serve Him when in fact, its uncomfortable for us.

Isnt that the true test of service, to sacrifice of yourself at times? Its always easy to give when it doesnt require one... To give of yourself to the point of sacrifice willfully and happily for the benefit of another.. thats a beautiful, beautiful thing.

So, do you know yourself? More importantly, do you know what you wish to achieve?

And then, do you know what youre willing to sacrifice to make Him happy? or are you..

To Err is Human, To Cane is Sadistic..

To err is human.. we all do it.. A/all.. every single nary one of us from some point in time shortly after birth with cognitive thought and decision making prowess came into union.. Not to say W/we learned the error of our ways, mind you... just that we really know how to screw the proverbial pooch!

So, big hairy dog aside.. And, in consideration of the fact that W/we are all in agreement that we're messin up here and there.. How DOES that Cane feel on your hiney, all bright and shiney?!? Isnt it a quick and proper, if not abrupt, rectification of the wrong?!? If we could fix all of the doggy doo's we make that simply by taking our lumps, wouldnt W/we?!? Isnt there a kiss of forgiveness in that swat as harsh as it is???

But, alas, what if you've not been tip toeing down the tulips with Rover?!?!? What if you've been a really good girl and He wants to give you that cane for his own reasons??? For His own pleasure... His own sadistic need..

Isnt that what we're here for though? To serve at our Master or Mistresses pleasure.. to fullfill their needs.. to bring them pleasure.. To achieve His smile.. To be the cause of that smile, fleeting groan, lilting voice that would say your name.. By serving Him and his needs, wants, desires, arent we really being served ourself?!?!?